Before we get into details, allow me to say a thing or two. People always find time for whatever they consider important in their life. Your tomorrow depends on what you do about it today. The moment you start working to better your tomorrow, your today improves. Your attitude, your motivation, your sense of identity and worthiness take another dimension (upward) when you have hope for a better tomorrow. The question

then is, what are you doing for your tomorrow’s health, professional, relationships, spiritual, financial, and recreational status?

As I reflect on the importance of one’s tomorrow, I recall planting corn seeds in the dry season. I have shared this experience in the past. However, it’s relevancy to the importance of preparing NOW for a better future warrants revisiting it. Corn or rather what we called maize in Kangundo, Kenya was the main food crop. With maize, people’s survival, without fear of famine, was assured. Wise people planted maize seeds during the dry season.

We had two seasons, rainy and dry. Wise people plowed and planted when the soil was loose and easy to turn. Planting in the dry season ensured that the seeds were not unearthed by squirrels because it is impossible for them to detect which spots have seeds and which do not when the soil is dry. The spots with seeds and those without look the same—at least for a squirrel. But the key point is that with the maize seeds in the ground, farmers knew their crops would germinate when rain fell.

Here is what I have stated in the past:
 

Why would one dare not to have “seeds” for a better tomorrow planted NOW? Look at today’s workplaces. They are unpredictable. Careers and/or businesses that seemed secure in the past continue to be made obsolete by technological advances, less restrictions on international trade regulation and the dynamics of human migrations. Indeed survival plus the ability to thrive depend in one’s willingness to prepare for a better tomorrow with foresight rather than hindsight.
 

The overwhelming reaction after my mother received a batch of flowers for the first time in her over 65 years of life, betrayed my emotional vulnerability. I was in shock. Flowers belong to the Kamba culture, too.

It seems safe to say every woman needs flowers, even my mother who is a lifelong member of a culture that shows affection in different ways other than sharing flowers. What it is, is that

every person is moved by any gesture of love, appreciation, welcome or a simple "I am glad to meet you!"

My mother’s reaction made me reflect on one of the audience participation activities in my presentations that is geared to highlight how people are connected. The activity involves each participant listing the top five human experiences that changed their life, the top five experiences they do not want to go through and then the top five experiences they would like to go through.

The top five experiences that have been highlighted as the main factors in changing people's life, the way they act, think and perceive life are: marriage, birth of one's child, death (or life threatening illness) of a loved one, divorce, and traveling. These experiences are not limited to any culture, race, gender, religion or social-political groupings. People are more alike than they are unlike.

What participants reveal as their main fears in life include: the death of one's child (this is always the most listed fear), long-term illness, divorce, poverty and loss of jobs. War and natural disasters are also entered while teachers and probation officers list being arrested as an experience they do not want to go through. Great health, happiness, seeing one's child become self-sufficient, traveling and making one's community a better place are listed as experiences audience members want to have. Again, these fears and hopes are the same regardless of physical, social differences or geographical backgrounds.

We are like aspen trees growing in the same location. While it appears like one sees tens or hundreds of trees, they all sprout from the same root. When you fertilize one, the others benefit just as the adverse impact on one aspen tree affects the rest. That is why events like devastating tornados or shootings in schools affects us even though we don't know the victims personally. And great events, like the Boise State Football Team beating Oklahoma, make so many people feel great, even those who had never heard of Boise State before the game.

My mother’s deep attachment to those flowers added a new angle that each individual, regardless of his/her background needs to know they are welcome, appreciated and valued. She was given the flowers by a family that had come to our daughters’ graduation party. My mother held on to those flowers like they were the best gift she had ever received. She had people take her pictures, holding those flowers in different poses. She ate her meals with those flowers lying next to the plate. She gave specific instructions on where the flowers should be placed in her room—a spot where she could see them all the time.

That revelation came with personal guiltiness. The thought of welcoming my mother at the airport with flowers had crossed my mind. However, "knowing" our culture, I ignored it. I had never bought flowers for my daughters. Maybe in our almost 25 years of marriage I have given my wife flowers handful of times—and they are usually the gifts I am given after my presentations.

When I asked my mother why she liked the flowers so much her response was, "Oh, my! These are mine. It shows that the people who gave me the flowers appreciate me even though they don't know me." When I told her that I had thought of bring flowers to the airport she consoled my soul by saying that I brought her the best flowers—her grandchildren.
Now I know why people appreciate the curved letter openers from my Kamba tribe—it’s a small token of my deep appreciation their presence in my life. It reaches the depth of human soul.

This is a special professional speaker/trainer growth program--participants must ready for success. They must be mentally prepared to explore ethical ways of making SIX-figure income year after year.

I had just finished presenting my two-day marriage workshop, “Overcoming Buffaloes in Marriage. How to Build a God-Centered Marriage,” when one of the participants approached me and said, “Vincent, would you please send a copy of the workbook to my brother-in-law?” Topics covered in this workshop are: Cultural Dynamics and Family Stability; Communicating Effectively to Save Marriage; Material Possessions: Blessings or Curse?; For the Sake of Children; Children: Additional Blessing; In-Laws and Your Marriage; Living Happily Ever After; Satisfying Sex Life and Healthy Marriage; A Husband’s Responsibility; A Wife’s Responsibility; and Breaking the Cycle of Divorce.

I knew her brother-in-law. He was the head of a worldwide Christian organization and one of the most humble men I have ever met in my life. Without hesitation, I promised the participant that I would send it. She didn’t say why she wanted me to do it and I didn’t ask. I actually thought she wanted him to see the materials covered in the workshop and either use it in his teachings or have me conduct such workshops within his organization. As I was going home, I thought about her request and I thought my workshop materials were not good enough to be given to a man of such high position. I needed to make the materials flawless.

English, admittedly, is neither my first nor second language. I wrote my first essay in high school and since high school, I have never taken English classes let alone a writing class. I was a science student and in my entire undergraduate program at the University of Nairobi in Kenya, I was required to write only three term papers.
 

So I thought I would review my marriage workshop booklet, make corrections, and give it to an editor for more corrections before I sent it. Because of my full-time speaking engagements, days and weeks and months went by before I could find the time to make the workbook perfect. Her request was made in May and by the end of September, I had not honored my promise.

In October I heard the sad news that this man had been left by his wife. I don’t know what happened in their marriage. They seemed to have the “dream relationship” we all pray for. They were always together. As this leader taught preachers how to care for their flocks, she stood by him and sometimes taught and encouraged women married to preachers on how to overcome the challenges they faced.

The wife had moved out, rented an apartment and gotten a different job. This time, I logically resisted the temptation to send the materials because I didn’t want them to have to feel guilty.

A few months later, this disillusioned leader, having lost considerable weight, stood before hundreds of people and resigned his position. I cried, like many others did, as I listened and watched him read his resignation statement. My mind went back and forth to his sister-in-law’s request and my pursuit of perfection. I agonized over the estranged marital relationship and the loss of a leader who had led thousands of souls to God’s Kingdom.

Words can’t express my heart’s heaviness for days as I contemplated on the fact that our abilities or capabilities are not necessarily what makes a difference. All that is needed is our availability. It is not about our eloquence on speech, or our world class writing skills. All we need is to be a blessing to others as we have been blessed. Our job is not to perfect ourselves in order to be useful but to be willing to do what we can with our imperfection.
 

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