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The Five People to Avoid as You Learn, Change and Grow

No matter what you do, no matter how great your performance is, there will always be someone who finds something wrong with either you or your work.

You can?t stop doing what?s good because of a few people who can always find something to criticize.

?The best revenge is to do what your critics said you couldn't.? Dr. Vincent Muli Kituku

As you reflect on where you are today in your professional and/or personal endeavors, you may recall some of your earlier challenges. For most people, the early challenges in their goals may include a lack of resources, clear vision or the right knowledge. But the most common obstacle most people experience is discouragement from others. It wise to know something about the different kinds of discouragers.


1. The predictors of your future: These are the people who think they know how your future will be like based on your past. The moment you share you goals with one, he or she expounds on your past failures and points out that there are enough reasons why you are doomed to fail.

2. The doubters of your capability: These who listen to doubters stay in situations they resent. You share your goals with a doubter, and mostly from a pure heart, he or she evaluates your skills, resources or knowledge and then tells you why you cannot succeed. Because of my accent and science related background, one of corporate America coworker said I couldn?t succeed as a speaker or inspirational writer.

3. The failures who want you in their camp: These are people who might have pursued a goal like yours and failed. They have personal experience on how to fail in that kind of a goal. They use that to help change your mind by persuading you that the rewards are not worthy the effort.

4. The jealous group: This group includes your circle of associates that know you will be different and probably not fellowship with them. They want you to continue living below your potential just like them. That way they have you and can control your actions and/or thoughts.

5. The overnight judges: These are people who judge whether you are a failure soon after you begin pursuing your goals. You are unfortunate if they happen to know the obstacles you are facing. That is when you hear, ?See, I knew he was not going to make it.?

My advice for you is stick with your goals. My lesson number 12 of the top 45 must know lessons of top achievers states that, ?Always know that you are the CEO of all you do.? I was once criticized for using stories/metaphors in training programs. Today, participants of my seminars point out that the stories/metaphors are some of the teaching techniques that keep them interested and also help them remember and apply the learned materials.

Be clear on what your goals are. Choose those whom you want to share your goals with wisely. Learn to discern the spirit of a discourager from that of an encourager. Let your thoughts and actions reflect who you want to be but not who you have been. Keep mental, emotional and physical aspects of your life in harmony. Always be looking for associates you can learn from.

Lesson number 5 of the Top Must Know Life Lessons for Top Achievers says, ?Choose friends wisely. Like elevator buttons, they will either take you up or down.?

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