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Dr. Vincent Muli Wa Kituku Overcoming Buffaloes in Our Lives WWW.KITUKU.COM 1-888 685-1621 or (208) 376-8724 ========================================================================== Informative and captivating FREE electronic newsletter that brings you timely information designed to equip you with powerful tools to achieve new heights in your professional and personal life.
Issue Number: Volume 1 No. 11 Publisher: Dr. Vincent Muli Wa Kituku Date of Issue: December 5 2002 © 2002 Overcoming Buffaloes in Our Lives. All Rights Reserved.
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IN THIS ISSUE
1. Dr. Kituku Commentary: 5 Aspects of Finding Fulfillment in Jobless Times 2. 9 Top Reasons on Why Create a Dynamic Marketing Strategy 3. December 15th is the LAST DAY 4. Identify and Deal With Your Main “Buffalo” 5. Christmas Spirit Brewed in African Pot 6. Featured Turning Point Experience Piece: Few Days in My Wife’s Shoes ===================================================================== Finding Fulfillment in Jobless Times
In today’s unpredictable job security, massive downsizing and dwindling employment benefits both the affected employees and survivors are bewildered. Survivors mostly predict their future based on what has happened—and conclude that they too could be victims. The darkness faced by those laid off can only be understood by those who have walked in the same path. In addition to the loss of a paycheck and health benefits, one’s sense of purposes suffers as well.
There is however other avenues of finding fulfillment when the storms seems to cover any sign of rainbow.
After leaving my job to pursue my dream, professional speaking, training and writing, I realized there were community activities that I could devote some of my time and talents on, albeit with no monetary returns.
That was the time Boise State Football team had gone through tough times. They had lost their coach Pokey Allan to cancer. Pokey is the person who brought the humanity of American football, a sport I had never heard of until 1986 and never developed interest until recently, into my life. Mr. Allan’s death, led BSU to hire another coach who was let go after his first season. Then Huston Nutt was hired but left after leading BSU to one of its, then, great achievement—beating U of I. Dirk Koetter was hired.
Without the advantage of knowing the sport or even watching a game, I wrote and faxed an article to the head coach on how a team can overcome opponents the way villagers overcame menacing water buffaloes. That was followed by another article even before I got a response. Dirk called and asked if I could present my perspectives to the team. After my first speech, we worked on off and on field presentations that develop players beyond the sport.
When BSU won the conference championship in 1999, Dirk gave me a football and a coach’s uniform, making me the only person I know with a coach’s uniform for a sport he has no clue of the rules. Dirk wrote, “…Even though you never played football, your understanding of how a team must function as one to be successful is amazingly accurate…”
Whether you have a job or not, life in the workplace has changed. No position is secure. But your sense of purpose in life should not limited to just one aspect—a job. Here are strategies for finding fulfillment with or without a job.
1. Understand that rainfall and mosquitoes, like opportunities and challenges, come together. One can spend their time complaining about mosquitoes or use time to find how he/she can use the rain to produce crop. 2. Know your world and what needs done to make it better. Are there areas other people can benefit from your expertise? 3. Forget job description and do what needs to be done. Narrowing one’s performance to a job description or “turf” just limits creativity and growth. 4. Take risks and leave your comfort zone. Be the visionary and explorer of your life. Don’t be afraid of failing or rejection. Be afraid of not trying. 5. Before asking, “What’s there for me,” ask, “Is what am doing helping someone?” There is no substitute to the fact that helping others overcome their obstacles is a sure way for finding intangible and tangible returns.
Some returns are invaluable like a letter Dan Hawkins, Head Coach BSU Football team wrote to me saying, “Dear Vincent,…your motivational talks to the team and your special sessions with our key leaders have helped us reach a higher level of performance on and off the field…you are truly a blessing to us…”
Suffice to say the experience one gets in serving others can be the platform he/she needs to move to the next level. Now I also work with Arizona State Football team.
Strange but difficulty times help us realize, better than before, the richness and beauty of life in ways sometimes hard to fathom, especially if we choose to focus on building a future instead of holding on to a past we can’t reclaim. ==============================================================================
10 of Top 45 Must Know Life Lessons For High Achievers By International Author, Speaker—Dr. Kituku
1. Choose friends wisely. Like elevator buttons, they will either take you up or down. 2. Know you are not exempted from life tribulations that all others go through. Live one day at a time. 3. To start any project, the first step is to convince your mind that you are capable. 4. Be yourself, otherwise others will dictate what they want you to be. 5. Be working on something good at all times. You can't be unhappy when doing something good. 6. Honor and respect dad and mom. Forgive them for mistakes they might have made while raising you. It was their first time to raise you. 7. Forget job description. Do what needs to be done to get the job done in an exceptional manner. 8. Life is not a rehearsal. Unlike sports, you can't proof what you learned in practice later. 9. Sorrow will keep you focused on the past. Worry focuses around. Faith, action and determination focuses and builds the future. 10. Remove bitterness from you heart. It steals your present and future. It kills your body, mind and soul. It stifles your creativity.
Call (208) 376-8724 or e-mail Vincent@Kituku.com to get a FREE COLORED Poster (Reg. Price $5.99) of with the entire list. Note shipping and handling is $2.99…BUT you pay NOTHING. It’s our way of saying ASANTE SANA—THANK YOU VERY MUCH in Swahili
============================================================================== = December 15th is the LAST DAY
Dear Friends, December 15th is the LAST DAY you can order Dr. Kituku’s Top 13 Lessons for Professional and Personal Success (with great information on How to Thrive in Chaotic Times). This invaluable program is NOW AVAILABLE for a limited time in the Internet. Order today for prompt delivery! Your credit card information is secured by CCNOW, the Internet leader of credit card privacy. Full PAY BACK is you are not satisfied within 30 days.
A small group of people seem to get what they want when they need it. These ordinary people have figured out what’s their purpose in this world and determined to stay focused in spite of the many distractions. The results of whatever these people do are extra ordinary!
After almost a decade of research and reflections, Dr. Vincent Muli Wa Kituku has done what perhaps no one else has done before—interweave his rich African heritage and experience in corporate America into top 13 lessons for professional and personal success. These three CDs are filled with top content and strategies for what you need to get ahead and live up to your greatness.
Disc 1
Lesson One—The Truth About Personal Success. What is true success? Dr. Vincent Kituku builds a solid foundation about professional and personal success; Listen to his early struggles with poverty, illness after illness, schooling and the loss of siblings and how his father’s wisdom changed the tides of times forever.
Lesson Two—Definite Purpose in Life. Get ready for powerful knowledge on a critical aspect of life—having definite purpose that gives you the momentum to wake up with positive expectations. Learn 8 must know and do things to build strong self-confidence.
Lesson Three—The power of positive attitude. Dr. Kituku highlights the one thread of life that you have total control of and that can change how you see your world and the great opportunities life offers.
Lesson Four—Basics of Life. Learn the 6 crucial aspects of life that you are CEO of, the 6 important social entities and how what you do relates with each. Prepare for a new beginning in your knowledge in what others can do for you and what no one can do for you.
Lesson Five—Taking Charge of Your Personal Life. It’s common knowledge—imbalance in life has high cost in individual lives, families, businesses and community. Listen to Dr. Kituku as he highlights: the high cost of life imbalance; The top 3 types of relationships with lasting rewards; and 5 points to ponder on how to move forward without leaving your family behind.
Lesson Six—Essential Elements for Achieving Professional and Personal Purpose. This lesson is filled with concrete steps for you to use and achieve your purpose. Learn: The power of personal identity; The ONE word to avoid; Harmful desire to steer away from, The only emotion to guard against, Top three sources of failure, The 7 most powerful motives to cultivate and cherish
Disc 2
Lesson Seven—Top 12 Secrets that Move People Ahead. Ever wondered what makes people with the same educational background, probably doing the same job achieve different levels of success? In this lesson Dr. Kituku will take you through the12 top secrets that move people ahead in whatever field of their calling.
Lesson Eight—What 21st Century Leaders, Business Owners and Employees Must Know. Our world has become a jungle where it doesn’t matter whether you are a carnivore or a prey. You must run to survive. Learn: 10 practices that will position you for success; Recognize what sets you apart in your industry; 8 top secrets of surviving and thriving in your jungle; 10 steps on how to ask what you want when you need it; Best ways to negotiate deals prospects can’t turn down; How to inspire, motivate and position yourself; 13 things leaders/managers do to de-motivate people; 9 tips on how to inspire and motivate others for superb performance and; 9 tools for thriving in unpredictable times.
Disc 3
Lesson Nine—Turning Adversities into Opportunities for New Beginning and Growth. Bad things happen to each and every one at one time or another. Dr. Kituku’s path in life, as you learned in lesson one has been filled with failure, poverty, illness after illness and sadly the loss of siblings. In this lesson, Dr. Kituku shares 12 steps for turning adversities into steppingstones for new beginning and growth; Living with “social buffaloes” and; the 7 attributes you need to overcome “buffaloes” in your life.
Lesson Ten—Life Beyond Real and/or Perceived Obstacles. What would you do if, before your proposal to marry is accepted, you had to search and kill a lion? Find out what inspired the Maasai men to search and overcome lions before marriage; Top 7 tips on how to see beyond your obstacles.
Lesson Eleven—Putting Faith into Action. Having faith in your great ideas and your potential is one thing. Putting that faith into action is another. Dr. Kituku provides an extra ordinary illustration on the power of faith put into action in what he calls “African Impala Syndrome.” He provides 9 proven strategies on how to avoid suffering from “African Impala Syndrome.”.
Lesson Twelve—The Principle of Planting in “Dry Season.” What is planting in dry season for professional and personal success? Do you know the high cost of not planting in your “dry season?” Learn the 8 most important questions to ask yourself if you are to grow in all aspects of life.
Lesson Thirteen—Pushing Your Internal Air-conditioner. What is stopping you from living the life of your dream? Do you know you may have a talent or an experience that could propel you from mediocre performance to life rich with fulfillment? Listen to another one of Dr. Kituku’s signature story that has won international awards “the Unused Air-Conditioner”; 7 reasons why people don’t “push their A/C”
In conclusion, Dr. Kituku looks back to April 11 1997, and what happened afterwards. He left a full time job to be a professional speaker, trainer and author. No paycheck every other week, 401K or Health and Life Insurances. English is not his native or even second language. His college education is not in any remote way related to what he was embarking to do. Now, looking back, all Dr. Vincent Muli wa Kituku says is, “I am blessed.”
LESS THAN 15 DAYS SPECIAL OFFER: $20.00 ONLY (plus 4.99 S/H and 5% for Idaho residents) Reg. Price: ($59.99) for 3½ hours worth of powerful knowledge and tools you can use to not only overcome today’s unpredictable challenges, but also to THRIVE. Mail check to KITUKU & ASSOCIATES, P.O Box 7152. Boise, Idaho 83707. Or Call Toll Free 1 888 685-1621, for immediate shipping. Please have your Visa, Master Card or Discover credit cards when you call. ============================================================================== =
9 Top Reasons on Why Create a Dynamic Marketing Strategy
1. Market changes fast; new people, new products/services, new appliances. 2. Competitors are doing it. 3. Marketing keeps your business operating competitively in emerging markets. 4. It enforces your identity. 5. It keeps your morale vibrant. 6. It keeps your existing customer pool aware of your business. 7. Out of sight, out of mind. Without it, maybe you would end up being out of business. 8. It’s the force that gives you competitive advantage over your competitors—especially in a slow economy. 9. Marketing will keep your business surviving and thriving. ============================================================================== ================= Identify and Deal With Your Main “Buffalo”
I love and write stories. One of my original favorite folktale is about an African father who had two sons and two daughters. He wanted to take one of his children into the jungle because he had his spear and an extra one. He knew that each of his children would love to go into the jungle with him.
Thus, he informed his children that in the jungle, there were four kinds of animals: lions, snakes, elephants, and buffaloes. He asked them, “Which animal would you attack first, and why?” The children thought for a while, and the first boy said, "I would attack the elephant first. Elephants are the biggest of all the four animals, and I think that it would be easier to attack the others.” The first daughter said, "I would attack the snake first because I hate snakes. They spit saliva on you, and the venom could make you blind if it gets in your eyes.” The second son said, "The lion is the king of the jungle. If you can fight it first, then it would be easy to fight the rest.” The second daughter, who was also the youngest, asked her father if she could be given more time to think about her answer. The father agreed, giving her another day. On the following day, the father and children got together again to listen to the final response so that the father could make his choice. The youngest daughter said, "Dad, my sister and my brothers, this indeed is a difficult question for all of us. Going to the jungle is also a problem, and one needs to know how to survive there.” The other children were losing their patience at this point, and they told her to stop telling them things they already knew. “Well, I would fight the buffalo first,” she said. In unison the other three children asked, "Why?” She explained, "Buffaloes are mean, clever, and brave. They can see you, smell your presence, and then attack you. Lions are also brave, but they won’t attack you if they have had their breakfast. Elephants are big and may take time to turn and run after you. They also have to smell your presence. Snakes mostly attack if you come near them, but they won’t start looking for you.” She continued, “If I kill the buffalo, the lion won't bother me because there will be meat for it. The elephant will smell the blood and run from the presence of danger. Finally, when the buffalo is falling down, it may fall on the snake.” At this point, the father picked up the extra spear and gave it to the youngest daughter and said, "We will leave tomorrow morning. Go and get ready.” The moral of the story: Life is like a jungle. It presents us with different kinds of opportunities to enjoy life positively and accomplish our mission in this world. There are, however, many obstacles which may stop us from positively accomplishing our missions. Equating these obstacles to jungle animals, one has to identify his or her buffalo and face it effectively. “Social buffaloes” can come in many forms, including a lack of education, substance abuse, poor and unhealthy relationships, abuse of family members, problems with civility, lack of life goals, poor self-evaluation, hanging out with the wrong crowd and more importantly, a lack of good relationships with one’s creator and divine providence. When the main social buffalo is identified and eliminated, all the problems disappear or become easy to handle. The aspect of taking time off, as portrayed by the youngest daughter, is a very important lesson. The current trends, which include a dependence on technology, information super-highways, and drive-through life styles, have changed the traditional way of taking time off to reflect on the past, evaluate the present, and project toward the future. We must consider spiritual, physical and emotional aspects before we can effectively move toward attainable goals.
Adapted from the Jungle of the Roundtrees and Squarebushes folktale in the Multicultural Folktales For All ages: Traditional and Modern Folktales from the Kamba (Kenya) and Tagalog (Philippines) Communities book by Dr. Vincent Muli Wa Kituku and Felisa Tyler
============================================================================== = Christmas Spirit Brewed in African Pot
How Christmas was celebrated in my village and how it is done in America differs profoundly. We didn’t have gifts to unwrap on Christmas morning. There were no cards to read. I saw a Christmas tree, for the first time, in Wyoming in 1986.
One aspect of my recollection of Christmas spirit in African is of a song, “Kilisito nusyaiwe, ukai tutanee, Kilisito nusyaiwe, ukai tutanee” meaning Christ is born, come we rejoice. Christ is born, come we rejoice. This was sung by The Salvation Army (Salvation Army in Kenya is not a thrifty store, but a Christian church, that marches through shopping centers singing and preaching before heading to their sanctuary).
Their signing marked the beginning of a special day, a day when the rich and the poor ate alike. In almost every home, there was one meal, Chapati. The day before Christmas was when we slaughtered Christmas goats, but on Christmas day, we roasted, or cooked goat meat stew before neighbors and relatives from afar arrived. My father used to invite all.
From morning, chapati’s aroma filled the air. There was no isyo (corn and beans), ngima (cornmeal), sweet potatoes, arrowroots and millet or sorghum meals. Everything seemed to look or sound new, but brewed in African pot. Men, who had little or no exposure to the English language, after sipping few glasses of beer spoke English—to the best of their abilities. You could hear a man say, “You me blood” meaning you are of my blood, i.e., a relative or “You play don’t no more me with” meaning, you, don’t play with me anymore. My favorite was when someone, pointing at chapati said, “Son, chapati eat?” meaning son, have you ate a chapati? The response to this sometimes was funny, too “Me eat chapati, thank you sir,” meaning “I have eaten chapati, thank you sir.” The structure of the language didn’t matter-it was Christmas. This was the only day cows, goats, sheep and donkeys were tethered because their keepers were where the action was. The emptiness at the water springs attested to the importance of this day.
Christmas was the day almost every one went to church. I would never think of missing church on Christmas day. The preacher, Bishop Albanus Kioko always came to celebrate this occasion in my community. He used to tell stories that vividly presented spiritual issues in a unique inclusive manner. He also conducted mass absolution, only on Christmas for time pressed country and town dwellers. After a short sermon, 2 hours long, the bishop said the best words, “Inukai misa niyathelaaa” meaning, “Go home the mass is over.” We responded, “Utwike oouuuu” meaning, “Let it be thus.”
Then we went on celebrating Christmas without worrying about the gifts to be returned or thinking about whom to remove from your list because they didn’t send you a gift.
It was Christmas spirit brewed in African pot.
============================================================================== = In April’s newsletter, I promised to share what I have learned in different areas of life/business in the last 5 years as a full time speaker, writer and seminar leader. Every month there will be a Featured Turning Point Experience piece that reflects a unique circumstance either in speaking or writing arenas. This month’s piece is about a unique experience… Few Days in My Wife's Shoes
I could not understand why my father was giving his in-laws the one cow, named Usoa, that provided milk for our family. Through family discussions, I had learned that my father's family had given my mother's family more than the traditional token of appreciation, commonly known by the West as dowry.
Since my younger brother and I were the ones asked deliver the cow to my maternal grandparents, I asked dad why- a 17-year old son needed an explanation for the meaning of this transfer. Dad said that when a man is blessed with a good wife, he has to show his in-laws his appreciation from time to time. He mentioned that there was no price for a good wife and the gifts given to in-laws was a continuous way of saying thank you.
Of course tradition of dowry has been misunderstood and misused, especially by those less attached to its significance.
But it is the value of a good wife that has kept my mind thinking of my father's words. I have nursed the knowledge that I been outrageously blessed with a marvelous wife for almost twenty years. That said, the challenge of being in my wife's shoes for few days was humbling and revealing.
For months I knew she would attend a conference for a lengthy period of time-4 days. That meant my being home with two of our three daughters (13 and 10) and son (6). I kept the thoughts of her being absent in the back of mind until I realized I could not ignore the fact I afraid of being home alone.
A week before she left for the conference, she had to leave early in the morning for a meeting. By default I was in-charge of getting the children ready for school. One of them was sick and I had to call my wife to ask which medicine I was to give her. By the time I had found it the sick child and her brother had rushed to the bus. I rushed to the bus too, not only with medicine but also with another form that needed a parent's signature but had slipped my attention. The gracious bus driver just laughed when I said this is parenting 101 as I gave medicine to my daughter and signed the form.
At dinner time that evening, as I bragged at my effectiveness that morning, my daughter told me that I gave her nighttime medicine. Further, my son let me know that the form I labored to sign had been due a month earlier. Oh my! I induced my daughter to sleep in class. And my son had a worthless form signed by me.
Two days before my wife's departure, my daughters surprised me on how concerned they were in having dad as their cook. The 13-ear old one said, "I know what we are going to eat until Mom comes." "Ugali in the first day, followed by Ugali every night." Ugali, corn meal is the meal food in East Africa. Without hesitation, her 10-year old sister looked at me with appealing eyes and said, "I know Dad won't torture us that way. He will get us a pizza." My wife laughed so hard I had to join.
On the day my beloved left, I had to pray for my children while I was still in bed before they left for school-they had prepared themselves. I had not slept the previous night, since I spent it preparing myself mentally to be home alone with children scared of my cooking. The after school activities were the next test of my parenthood. Knowing that the 13-year old had a basket ball game, I had to pick the other two from their school and head to the game. Out of my heart's goodness, I decided to carry snacks. But the way they found the snacks and just started eating forced me to ask, "Does Mom bring you snacks to eat before you go to the game." And the answer was a definitive "YEAH."
One day with my wife away from home felt like a decade of crisis. My professional creativity and performance recoiled to levels I am ashamed of. Now I understand why dad found fulfillment in giving his in-laws the cow that was invaluable. It was a token of his appreciation for the invaluable child (my mother) they had blessed him with.
The prophet Ezekiel warned Israelites when they were in captivity, on how they should live, from a distance. However, when he had first hand experience, by being in their condition, all he said was, "…And I sat where they sat and remained there astonished among them for seven days" (Ezekiel 3:15).
Being in-charge of our home for five days while my wife attended a conference was an eye opener as to how I had never been in her shoes. I was astonished by how much I learned about her efficiency and how little I knew about our children's programs even though I claim to be involved in their lives.
First I learned that losing your keys when you just had them in the house was not an inherited trait. Hours after she left I couldn't find the keys I rarely remove from my pockets. I had somehow associated losing keys with motherhood. I watched my grandmother look for lost keys. My mother's case of looking for lost keys was a daily show. She assigned us, those with ability to listen and carry out instructions a section of the compound or room, anywhere she might have been within the last 12 hours, to search for her keys as she prepared to go to the shops.
Anyone can misplace keys…but I had done it less significantly than my beloved wife-until the day she left for the conference. With my thoughts scattered on unreturned business phone calls, unwritten articles and more importantly, children's after school programs, the whereabouts of my keys just complicated my life. My wife, when in my situation just says, "Honey…can I please have the key to the van?" If time allows she may add, "I can't find mine." Well, my honey was not there and you can imagine my gratitude when I found her set of keys-oh, how thoughtful of her to leave them where I could find them.
I had not known how opportunistic I could be. A day before I was left in-charge, I had noticed an announcement of "A Dinner and A Book" (you eat free dinner and get a free book) to be held at the Boise public library on the second day of my wife's absence. The program was to start at 6:00pm. I called impromptu meeting the night before the event. The message was simple and to the point-no folktales or metaphors that could be misinterpreted. I said "We have to be at the Boise public library at 5:50pm. That would give us time to find seats near where they will be serving pizza! So Lucille you have to promise to shower and dress in 5 minutes after your game." Our second night dinner puzzle was solved.
Keeping up with children’s schedule had never been a big issue, when my wife was home. But when Lucille didn't come home by 3:30pm, I wondered whether I had heard well when she said they wouldn't have a game that day. I thought, well, then they must be in practice until 4:00pm. I would pick her up and head to her siblings' school where they were to play chess till quarter to five. At 4:00pm I was at Lucille's gym where I learned practice ends 4:30pm. When we arrived at my other children's school, they were long gone because the chess program had been cancelled.
How come schedules run smoothly when my wife is at home? I know when to pick whom and from where. All this confusion occurred even though I had made effort to leave work at least two hours earlier, just in case.
I could help but remember a story of a woman who stormed out a training session while dialing her mobile phone. Her colleague followed, fearing for the worst, and gathered courage to ask her, "Are you ok? Is everything at home fine." She responded, "Oh sure…I am just reminding my husband to take out the garbage cans." The surprised colleague asked, "Wouldn't he take it out anyway?" The answer to that was, "You know, my hands are not strong to carry the garbage cans and my husband can never remember to take them out unless I remind him. We just work together." © By Dr. Vincent Muli Wa Kituku, Author, Motivational Speaker and Trainer. P.O Box 7152. Boise, Idaho 83707. Phone (208) 376-8724, www.Kituku.Com
Stay Tuned With Dr. Vincent Muli Wa Kituku
Stay Tuned With Dr. Vincent Muli Wa Kituku, host of “Buffaloes in Our Lives" a TWO hour weekly radio program, aired in the Northwest area on KBOI 670 AM, Saturdays at 7:00 a.m. Read Dr. Kituku’s newest articles in, Zidaho.com, Idahopress.com, Idahostatesman.com, Argusobserver.com, Times-News Magic Valley. ===========================================================================
You can order Dr. Kituku’s books and tapes in any of the following methods: Call Toll Free 1-888 685 1621 or (208) 376-8724 (orders are mailed within 24 hours) (Visa, Master and Discover cards accepted) Mail order: Send check or money order to: KITUKU & ASSOCIATES, P.O Box 7152, Boise, Idaho 83707. Electronic Order: Order directly while you are here. Your information is confidential. Orders mailed within 24 hours after your information has been processed. You can also order from Amazon.com (Note: not all books and tapes are sold at Amazon.com).
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